Small asks first(davidgcohen.com)
davidgcohen.com
Small asks first
http://www.davidgcohen.com/2010/10/28/small-asks-first/
6 comments
I was expecting an article about how people who ask instead of just taking end up "small"
And I was expecting an article about how in any transaction or relationship with a power differential it is the less powerful (smaller) party who makes the first request.
The problem with this is, at least from my perspective, is i hate people that pussyfoot around, if you want something, please just come out and say so.
A lot of the people that want to "build a relationship" are extremely annoying because of this, i dont want to build a relationship with you, if you just get down to doing something then a relationship just happens naturally.
A lot of the people that want to "build a relationship" are extremely annoying because of this, i dont want to build a relationship with you, if you just get down to doing something then a relationship just happens naturally.
This is relevant to your interests: http://ask.metafilter.com/55153/Whats-the-middle-ground-betw...
Also, the article didn't seem to suggest pussy-footing to me - rather, it seems to suggest that if you don't know someone very well, it's rude to ask/demand them for a large investment of time in order to help you. Sending a short e-mail vs. asking for a phone call isn't pussy footing around, it actually sounds a lot more direct to me.
Also, the article didn't seem to suggest pussy-footing to me - rather, it seems to suggest that if you don't know someone very well, it's rude to ask/demand them for a large investment of time in order to help you. Sending a short e-mail vs. asking for a phone call isn't pussy footing around, it actually sounds a lot more direct to me.
Really easy to forget this stuff so thank you.
When I feel the answer to my success lies with other people I tend to overask. When I am confident my success lies with me my perspiration andinspiration, and a little luck, then I'm less likely to over-reach a relationship.
I don't think it's just a function of time. 3-5 questions could easily take 30 minutes to answer. A phone call is just such a larger imposition than email (for many). No time to think a solid response through, research your answer, start after supper finish after the kids are asleep, etc.
Email lets the respondent control the conversation, rather than the requestor.
Email lets the respondent control the conversation, rather than the requestor.
All in all, the problem is that it requires instant latency. You have to schedule a call, and be ready then.
Can we go back to the real world where "ask" is a verb? I had trouble getting through this. Isn't this sort of something we all learn growing up? I dunno, seems like "don't be pushy." Maybe the rubrik for small - huge is useful. Please stop using "ask" this way though. If it makes you feel better, I will be ok if you want to start every sentence with "so."
Other than that, very helpful article.