While I havent experienced your pain directly, I appreciate you sharing that with all of us.
Let me tell you something, earlier this year I also saw the end of a relationship I thought was with my partner in life and out of the sudden turns out it was completely not, dreams and plans of many many years shattered in a matter of 2 months.
The effect it had not only was emotional, physical (I was pretty much not eating, not sleeping for many weeks) even showed in the code I write, bugs, crappy code, low productivity.
I look back at the commit graphs and there is a HUGE drop during those days, and while that pain still hurts sometimes, I've slowly have been coming out of that 'hole' I was in and what really helped me to get through it was to understand that:
I was suffering because of the idealization I made of the other person and the future I was hoping for.
I was not suffering for something that actually happened, nor for the person who she really was (long story: lies etc).
Also to understand that pain is natural, but suffering beyond that is partially a choice (I know it sounds cheesy, but makes sense to me).
So the strength to get out of where you are is in you, really, of course the fun part is to find the circumstances, the strength and sometimes the right people to get you through it.
I know it may be just a small detail in the vast ocean of what you are going through right now, but I wanted to share that little piece of realization that helped me a lot.
Thanks for sharing it, and I hope that the comments and input here help to get you some clarity :) bro hug